1. When Boy Shorts Ride Up: A Tragedy. The whole point of boy
shorts is that they should offer more coverage, but usually they just
cover more of the side of your thigh than they do your actual butt.
So when they ride up, the thigh part stays in place, but the butt
part still rides up as much as any other pair of underwear would.
What is the freaking point of that?!
shorts is that they should offer more coverage, but usually they just
cover more of the side of your thigh than they do your actual butt.
So when they ride up, the thigh part stays in place, but the butt
part still rides up as much as any other pair of underwear would.
What is the freaking point of that?!
2. When you have to change your whole outfit because the
right underwear for it is in the laundry you still haven't done yet.
Nope, I can't wear a skirt today because if the wind blows even the littlest
bit toward my butt, my dress will cling to it and I will have the most
obvious VPL in the world, which sucks because I love this underwear.
Why is everything so complicated?!
right underwear for it is in the laundry you still haven't done yet.
Nope, I can't wear a skirt today because if the wind blows even the littlest
bit toward my butt, my dress will cling to it and I will have the most
obvious VPL in the world, which sucks because I love this underwear.
Why is everything so complicated?!
3. Trying to plan your underwear for a trip and just being like,
"Screw it, I'll bring them all." *Packs 23 pairs of underwear because
you can't have too many, except yes, you can.*
"Screw it, I'll bring them all." *Packs 23 pairs of underwear because
you can't have too many, except yes, you can.*
4. When your favorite kind gets discontinued so you have to
hold onto the old ones for dear life. May every single thread fall
to the floor in tatters; I will hold on to you forever, Gap Body high-waisted
boy shorts.
hold onto the old ones for dear life. May every single thread fall
to the floor in tatters; I will hold on to you forever, Gap Body high-waisted
boy shorts.
5. WEDGIES. Why do we still live in a world where this is a daily reality
with almost every pair of underwear I own? How has NASA not been like,
"Look, most women spend the majority of their days pulling down even
the fullest-of-full-butt underwear when they could be spending that time
overthrowing patriarchy. How can we help develop a better way?" It just
seems like good business sense to me.
with almost every pair of underwear I own? How has NASA not been like,
"Look, most women spend the majority of their days pulling down even
the fullest-of-full-butt underwear when they could be spending that time
overthrowing patriarchy. How can we help develop a better way?" It just
seems like good business sense to me.
6. The dark day when underwear you love becomes period
underwear. I specifically have an app on my phone for this very reason
and yet the app failed me and now one of my favorite pairs of underwear
looks like a prop from Psycho. Great.
underwear. I specifically have an app on my phone for this very reason
and yet the app failed me and now one of my favorite pairs of underwear
looks like a prop from Psycho. Great.
7. When you have a pair of underwear that politely requests
you hand-wash them only. I DO NOT WANT TO HAND-WASH
ANYTHING, YOU DELICATE FUCK. And let me guess, you also want
me to buy a drying rack for your precious little self? Haha, no.
you hand-wash them only. I DO NOT WANT TO HAND-WASH
ANYTHING, YOU DELICATE FUCK. And let me guess, you also want
me to buy a drying rack for your precious little self? Haha, no.
8. When you do hand-wash and they never really get clean.
There's still some weird stain or they don't smell like they've been truly
washed, so then you end up washing them over and over again until
they do, or you just give up and throw them in the washer, which will
kill them on impact.
There's still some weird stain or they don't smell like they've been truly
washed, so then you end up washing them over and over again until
they do, or you just give up and throw them in the washer, which will
kill them on impact.
9. When the elastic has given up entirely. And then it just kind
of puddles around your waist and hips, looking defeated and sad. And
eventually you get that look too because it looks super awful.
of puddles around your waist and hips, looking defeated and sad. And
eventually you get that look too because it looks super awful.
10. Wanting your bra to match your underwear, but then that
means you have to have underwear that are all the same color
as that bra. And let's be honest, you're never going to match those
up when you have to be out the door in five minutes. You're going to
grab whatever. You just are.
means you have to have underwear that are all the same color
as that bra. And let's be honest, you're never going to match those
up when you have to be out the door in five minutes. You're going to
grab whatever. You just are.
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